Curve Balls

Why does life throw curve balls? I wonder. The events of this last year have made some things painfully apparent. I don't get to choose everything that happens to me. I don't get to make lasting plans. I don't even get to know what my life will be like next year. I'm. Not. In. Charge. It's not a fun fact, but it is a fact, nevertheless. As most of you know, two things happened to me and my family this past year that have changed my life FOREVER. One, I will bounce back from - soon, hopefully. The other will have a lasting affect on me - it might never go away.

Remember when the housing market was booming? Well, Rick and I took advantage of that and invested in some houses. And then, right in the middle of construction, the bottom fell out of the housing market. Yeah. Suffice it to say that we had a rough time. Then, right in the middle of that lovely little curve ball, another unexpected thing happened. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. You know - the thing that happens to other people, but will never happen to you? Yeah, another curve ball. At the time, I was working with a company called Cherish Bound. It was, perhaps, my very favorite job I've ever had. I LOVED going to work every day. I worked hard. I loved my co-workers. I put my heart and soul into that job. I could only see good things coming... all the possibilities for the future. Full steam ahead! Then I heard those hateful words, "You have cancer". And my life changed forever. It screeched to a halt. Seriously. My wonderful boss, and friend, Carol said, "Take as much time as you need to get better - your job will be here when you are ready." It's been 10 months. 10 months of surgeries, chemo, doctor appointments - awful stuff. I'm sooooo tired of it all. It's taken way too long - much longer than I had planned. And then, the realization came that I probably will need a different kind of job - something with hours that I can move around. There will be days when I don't feel up to going to work. My capacity for hard work has been seriously diminished. An office job just isn't the right thing anymore. I'm going to have to find something else. But, I can't stop loving Cherish Bound, so luckily, there is another direction I can go with the company. I am now a consultant for CB. I've got tons of plans, and I know this will be so much better for me and my family in the long run. But, change is a hard and painful thing.

Tonight I attended a Cherish Bound event. It was an evening for bloggers - a night of story telling, with wonderful food and good company. But, it was difficult to walk in and see what a beautiful job the corporate team did in setting this event up. Without me. I wasn't part of that. It was a weird feeling. I felt so left out. It's not that I wasn't welcomed with open arms - I was. But, my time as part of that wonderful group of people is over. I can't stand it. To tell the truth, I'm devastated. I'm sure the other bloggers wondered why I was so quiet. I'm not, usually. I'm normally a very out-going person. On any other night I would have mingled more and introduced myself. I would have made friends. But, tonight I was a little shell-shocked. I sat quietly, observing everyone else. I drank in the story atmosphere and so enjoyed hearing Wendy, Bruce, and Carol talk. I'm explaining this because I don't want the other bloggers (if they ever visit this blog), who were there, to think I'm anti-social. I'm not. It was just a hard night for me. I really enjoyed meeting all of the other bloggers. I loved the gifts that CB gave all of us. I'll blog about the night later on.

Just know that, if life spits out something that isn't in your plans, just go ahead and roll with it. Change is ok. Life is good. Everything will be fine. Eventually. And that's coming from someone who has had plenty of experience with curve balls lately.